Sunday, October 24, 2010

Bears and Skins and the Matchy Men of Fox

After I watched CBS Sunday Morning, in spite of not feeling good, but aware that if I didn't get the things I needed they would not be had for another week, I got myself to Target and Costco and then home to watch Fox NFL Sunday Live or whatever the heck they call it. After last week's lambasting of the same show, why did I want to rush home to see it? It's the pocket square effect.

Curt Menefee, Jimmy Johnson, Terry Bradshaw, and Howie Long all wear ties with matching pocket squares.  Every single week.  I noticed this two weeks ago and noticed that Michael Stahan does not wear one.  Michael looks good, wearing a vest under his suit jacket this week, but he does not wear a pocket square.  The others are so freaking natty, tidy, pulled together, and perfect that they could be women.  I like Michael Strahan.  He talks, I listen, he sounds good. Curt (red tie, red pocket square), the basic host, is easy to listen to but he is well groomed to the point of perfection.  Howie (yellow, yellow) did not seem to be in the "me, me, me" school of on-camera this week but, of course, Howie is perfection, isn't he?  At his age to have hair that good?  I hope he thanks his luck stars each and every washing.  I never know what Jimmy (hot pink, hot pink) has said because the whole time he is on screen, what's going through my head is, "Go away! Get someone else!  GO AWAY!" or else "If he smacks someone upside the head with the giant ring he wears, I bet they'd remember it forever if they were able to remember anything at all."  I do like Terry (purple, purple) because when he listens, he actively listens.  His body says, "I hear what you are saying, it is good to hear you say it, I will have something to say, too."  Sirs!  All that matchiness is just too much!  Do their socks match their ties and squares?  What happens if they all show up wanting to wear aqua?  Do they thumb-wrestle it out?  (I call them pocket squares because handkerchiefs are what you use to eliminate nasal volume and those square just don't seem up to the task.)

And so the Chicago Bears hosted the Washington Redskins.  Offensive coach Mike Martz looked like he might barf at one point in the fourth quarter.  Why?  Because the offense was having another Stink Festival.  Dudes, how many Stink Festivals can you have?  Going into this game, Jay Cutler had been sacked 23 times. This game, I lost track at four sacks but 23 + 4 = STINK FESTIVAL.  Yes, there is much going on out on the field and everyone is rushing and racing and moving, moving! But I said it last week and I say it this week again - PROTECT YOUR QB!  It was not a game that made my skin crawl but Donovan McNabb and his Redskins got the job done which is not my preferred result.  The Bears should be the ones getting it done.  Two weeks to the bye game!  Then I won't have to hear Troy Aikman saying things like, "I expect Julius Peppers to be impactful in the game today."  I paraphrase except for the word "impactful."  Dear Troy, It's a real word but using it belabors the English languarge needlessly - kinda like this sentence. XOXO, Southwest Corner.

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The Texas Rangers (a former owner of which was ex-President G.W. Bush, around the time he wanted to be Commissioner of Baseball) and the San Francisco Giants will be going to the World Series.   The opener is Wednesday in San Francisco.  Don't ask me who I think will win because I have honestly given it not a bit of thought and won't either because as I stated above, I don't feel well.

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Congratulations to Lord and Lady Football who welcomed a baby boy into their family.  Prince Football was born on 9 October 2010 and I wish their family a lifetime of happiness.

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Health Haiku
Leave me alone, you!
I have a low-grade fever.
Gonna go lie down.

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The Mysterious Johnson
Brett says it's not his.
Yes, he left the messages.
Johnson pix not his.

Now, let's say you are Brett Favre and you cannot leave the NFL -- you have a great talent and a wife and people still want to see you play (but not with your wife) and you like the adulation too much.   Why would you be so dopey as to (1) come onto a young woman in a voicemail and (2) think no one will know it's you and (3) send accompanying pix to seal the deal?  I am thinking the league's best example of "how can we miss you if you won't go away" doesn't realize the pictures came by PHONE.  From a PHONE NUMBER.  I would smack my head to try to make sense of it but it will be very windy in Chicago today and I am saving head smacks for possible flying debris.  The why gets down to that most embarrassing of them:  hubris.

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