Sunday, November 7, 2010

Buffalo Bills Won't You Come Out Tonight; What Will Save Detroit

The Bears went to Toronto to play the Buffalo Bills and kept the Bills' record of wins at zero for the season.  The Fox commentators, Sam Rosen and Tim Ryan, waxed lyrically, enthusiastically about the Bills.   The Bills QB, Ryan Fitzpatrick, went to Harvard, they reported, even though they admitted he was the starting QB because there was no one else to be had.  See how smart he is?  HARVARD!  One of the commentators said, "He is so smart he wears his wedding ring on game day."  Running out of  things to say?  The answer is yes.   Rosen and Ryan seemed Bills-centric in their commentary but har-dee-har, losers, the Bears WON 22-19.  The offensive line managed to keep Cutler from getting sacked except for once (it is the Bears offensive line and Jay Cutler, after all), Greg Olsen, the golden bitch (yeah, yeah, tight end) scored a TOUCHDOWN, Matt Forte made me want to find him and shake his hand.  The bye week seemed to have made the offensive line a much more cohesive unit.  When the Bears were at 20-19 and Matt Forte getting the two-point conversion to make is 22-19, Rosen and Ryan suddenly were all about the Bears.  Yes, the Bills have some very good players including that one guy whose neck seems wider than his head, but the Bears won, the Bills lost, and onto next week when the Bears play the Minnesota Vikings at that alligator-in-a-kangaroo's-pouch next to the Field Museum of Natural History, Soldier Field.

I ran errands at Target and Costco (heaven help me, I love love love Costco with its big lots, harsh lights, steroidal chickens, giant cakes, cheap drugs, and concrete floors) but managed to get my rump home to watch Fox Game Day Live with the Pocket Square Guys and Michael Strahan.  This week's tie and square action actually addled my brain as much as that 102.4 fever.  Here was the lineup:
Howie Long = Blue tie with lavender spots and a lavender square
Curt Menefee = blue tie with yellow stripes and a blue square (or was the tie yellow with blue stripes?)
Michael Strahan = three piece suit, tie, NO SQUARE (thanks, Michael)
Jimmy Johnson = yellow tie, yellow square
Terry Bradshaw = orange and blue tie and TWO SQUARES of orange and blue
Yes, I think Terry Bradshaw's combination is what made my eyes cross.  I readily admit that I am obsessed with this issue.

I am shocked to report that I think Curt, Terry, Michael, and Howie are very smart and very good commentators.  They know what they are talking about and express it with great intelligence.  I wish Howie would stop looking for the camera but he is no dope.  Jimmy, oh, Jimmy, I did not scream at the TV when you were talking but sorry, Jimmy, I want you to please, please retire and let someone else come in there and say something that is more worthwhile.  Yeah, you balance it out agewise but Jimmy, what have you to say?  What you said this week was instantly proven to be wrong by, oh, everyone.  Sorry, sir, everyone else is just so bright, so charismatic, so well spoken about the game of professional football that I wonder why you are there.  Fox Game Day Sunday Football Live (ah, if only I would bother to learn the actual name) is one of my new favorite  guilty pleasures but I don't care for Mr. Johnson and I don't care how much NFL experience he has. (This week they said he was on Survivor which made me superglad to have stopped watching that show after Season 2.)

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There is much talk in the media about what can save Detroit.  Earlier this week, I read about large cities that are running out of water and I realized that water, its availability, its presence, is what will save Detroit.  The southern part of the country has been enjoy major growth but plenty of large cities in the south -- Orlando, Houston, Tucscon, Los Angeles to name a few -- are running out of water.  Detroit, by the Great Lakes, is in no danger of this.  (Of course, winter is a real bitch (and I mean neither a tight end nor a wide receiver) and the southern part of the lower peninsula is the only place I've ever experienced white-outs:  one minute you are looking at a normal landscape and within minutes there is so much snow so that you either can't see or simply have trouble driving or walking.  Once I went for a walk with my dad and when we were five minutes from home, we suddenly could see nothing in the swirling white wind.  Just as suddenly, the whiteout was over and large puffy clouds danced in the blue sky.  But it is the north; winter happens.)  There is plenty of water for thirsty families who want jobs that can be just as easily created in Detroit as in Dalla or Tampa or Atlanta.  There are highways that are already built, neighborhoods that are ready to be reinvigorated.  There is water, the essence of life.  Someone else can, no doubt, express this better than me, but it stands to reason that a place with as many lakes as Michigan (Great and lesser) is a smart option for someone looking to expand their company without worrying about having to relocate one day because the well simply went dry.

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