Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Frozen North

I was shocked to see Mr. Brett Favre haul his ancient QB rump onto the field at TCF Bank Stadium at the University of Minnesota on Monday night.  Wasn't his shoulder supposed to be injured?  Wasn't he supposed to be in pain?  Wasn't he supposed to be out for the season?  Apparently, Sir Brett decided he himself was going to bring down the Bears, to stop them from becoming the champions of the NFC North.  Perhaps he consulted a northern seer or has a large crystal ball in his Minnesota living room.  Or perhaps ego, hubris, more ego, vanity, and pride got the best of him and he decided if this season were to be his last, he was going to make the most of it.  Either way, he should have stayed on the bench.

The initial drive was masterful, resulting in a touchdown almost immediately.  That must have snapped the Bears to their senses because that was pretty much that for the old stinker and his Viking crew.  He was sacked.  He got knocked down.  He hit his shoulder.  He hit his head.  He was hit so hard by rookie Corey Wooten, he should be glad that he won't be drinking soup through a straw for the rest of his life.

I said it earlier this season and I say it again:  Brett, how can we miss you if you won't go away?  This is why having something other than football to pursue is a good idea.  If you are in the NFL, save your money.  Do you like public speaking?  Work with a linguist/speech therapist/accent coach to rid yourself of your accent.  You ARE a role model that young people and testosteroney men everywhere would love to hear speak about the NFL, how you got to the NFL, what it's like to be in the NFL, how to stay in the NFL, and life after the NFL.  Mention statistics.  Testosteroney men love stats.

So up in St. Paul on the astroturf, the Bears clinched the NFC North championship with a very lopsided score of 40-14.  This week's bloodshed was caused by Bears.  Yippee!  January ball!

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