Sunday, March 27, 2011

Not so much mad as CRAZY!

"March madness" continues with the NCAA "road to the final four" being littered with the "bodies" of fallen "sure things."  (Ah, four sets of quotation marks in one sentence; my own personal-worst record.)  Butler buttered Florida's popcorn and Connecticut used a butter knife to smear Arizona on toast.  Kentucky totally bitch-slapped North Carolina.   The Jayhawks (rock chalk) of the University of Kansas played Virginia Commonwealth who made the team from Lawrence look like farmboys who'd never been to the big city; the Kansas fans were stunned and one of the players was crying.  Do I care?  Not so much.

I got myself into two tournaments as they were free.  I'd never done this before and amazingly still ended up with 5.8% of the players worse than me.  What does this say?  It says that I still suck but there are those who suck harder.  Strangely, for the women's tournament, where my ignorance was at 99%, I fared better, but only by one percentage point.   It also proves that wagering on this sort of thing is way dopey unless there is a general pool and you pick a team at random and go with your selection, not your choice.  I checked how I did in the second pool and the term lower than a cellar holds true.  Trying to pick winners when one is ignorant is not very smart; trying to pick winners when one knows what is going on is also not very smart.

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Spring has come to Chicago and it has been below freezing for days and days.  I am sick of it.  What will I do about it?  Answer this: if YOU can control the weather, please contact me at ohithinkso@gmail.com and we can converse.  Seriously.  I have questions.

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The NFL is locked out or closed down or the owners are not speaking to the players and vice versa which may affect the opening of the season which happens in the summer when it is hottest.  Millionaires and zillionaires fussing and fighting over money and the zillionaires don't care if the millionaires put their long-term health on the line for them and that they, the zillionaires, need to come up with some sort of extended health plan for those who bring them so much loot while in the prime of their lives.  A long sentence to tell the owners to just cough it up or go with Lingerie Football Leagues.  Y'all like the jiggly babes in little outfits anyway so stop pretending.  But then, ah, I don't know what I am talking about, now do I?  And what would the Pocket Square Guys do about the lack of stats?  "The longest run by a blond in a push-up bra and thong"?  What would they say if all the players had such serious cramps they had to just stay home?  Nothing, I surmise.  There would be confusion with terms like "super-heavy flow," and "extra-strength Ibuprofen."  Heaven forbid the quarterback got pregnant; their heads would expode!  Ultimately, they would need to call their wives at the break for explanations; the wives would tell them they should have paid attention and that would be correct.

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