Last Sunday, Vice President Biden dropped the bomb that he supported gay marriage. A couple of days later, President Obama revealed that he was, of course, in favor of gay marriage. "Welcome to awareness, guys," said my coworkers with some disdain. The speakers were gay men who are all in committed relationships.
|NC Gov. Beverly Perdue (D), courtesy AP|
I was in theatre for many years (and if I could control my work schedule better, I would audition for some community theatre project or other). In theatre there are many gay men. In my present line of work, there are many gay men. Basically, I know a lot of gay men. I am also friends with two women whom I met through the course of my life who happen to be lesbians. What the gay men and the lesbians have in common is they want to meet someone special with whom they can share their lives and build a future together. None of them wants to turn a straight person gay. Like most sane people with open hearts, they just want companionship, togetherness, maybe raise a family, take vacations, grow old with one another, and experience a richness that comes only with true love and not being judged.
When all the backchatting from various conservatives hit the airwaves -- marriage is between and man and a woman, marriage is so you can have a family together -- I was startled by how pissed off I was because it is all so very conditional.
What the conservatives are saying boils down to this: you can only have love if you are straight. You can't experience the nuance of different levels of love between two people; forget about the joy of raising children or even a pet together; you shouldn't own property nor grow a garden; you mustn't share a bank account; you're not allowed to nurse each other back to health when you are sick. None of these if you are a gay couple. It is the conservatives' own version of the Prime Directive.
It has been grinding through my head over and over that these rightwing nutjobs want love to be for straight people only, hoping that members of the gay, lesbian, and transgender community will remain at the edges of society, hidden from view and out of the mainstream consciousness. They need to see that it is crazy and hateful to believe or even espouse those beliefs because one day they will have to admit they are wrong and that sexuality is not a choice and you like what you like and that love is something between two adults who love each other with no conditions attached.