Sunday, July 20, 2014

It smells like what, now? Part 2

I have a dear friend who is very well employed and sent all over the place by her company.  She is well thought of in her industry and is a terrific person for any employer to have in their corner.  She is also a great friend and we like hanging out, shopping, seeing a movie, splitting a meal (because she has a small appetite, I don't need to eat so huge, so we've been splitting things for years).  Today we made Woodfield Mall happy.

Yes, yes, there was shopping and things were purchased.  The Apple Store got to see us to do a repair on my friend's phone.  We split what we like to eat at the Cheesecake Factory.  We ducked in Brighton so my friend could send things in for repair (so reasonable that I can see why they are the Church of Accessories for some -- they back up the goods and don't gouge for watch battery replacements).  It was a very nice time.

And then we went to Victoria's Secret.

There is not a single article of clothing in VS that is for me.  My top is too ample and my bottom likes Jockey cotton.  My friend has none of these issues.  She selected some items and was waiting in line to pay and I said I would browse the fragrances.  I smelled one that was too sweet.  I smelled another that was too sweet.  A third wasn't terrible but a little too sweet.  And then I caught sight of the names.  My eyes became wide.  A huge grin planted itself on my face.  I dug in my handbag for paper and pen.  The jotting began.

These are the fragrance names (in no order at all):

Body by Victoria
Love is Heavenly
Eau So Sexy
Very Sexy
Very Sexy Now
Sexy Little Things Noir
Sexy Little Things Noir Tease
Bombshells in Bloom
Dark Orchid No. 1 SEDUCTION
Angels Only
Angel Gold
Angels in Love
Angels Forever
So In Love
Basic Instinct
Love Spell

Holy mother.  That's a whole lot of positive energy directed at wanting to feel glamorous, desirable, wanton,  luscious, and in demand.  Aside from the fact that I didn't like any of the actual scents, I don't think those names apply to anything I have going on in my life at present.

I thought long and hard about more suitable names for my current life situation and these are a few of the fragrances I will be launching under the Oh, I Think So umbrella:

Took a Shower This Morning NEUTRAL
I Can't Seem to Give It Away
Maybe But Probably Not
Does My Head Feel Hot?

 [A scent that Oh, I Think So will never ever launch:  Regret.  Regret is for chumps.  Make a decision and live with it, I say.  (Regret would smell like old socks, bile, and the massage tent after a marathon.  See?  I can't do regret.)]

The next time you're cruising around Bath and Body Works or Victoria's Secret or even Nordstrom and you're bedazzled by all the clever names, think about the scents of your life.  What would they be?

1 comment:

  1. At least two of those Victoria's fragrances apply to you... Incredible & Fabulous.

    As far as scents names for my life:

    When Did You Eat That?
    Pajama Day
    Gotta Shave Again So Soon?
    Eau du Ramen
    The Back of the Fridge