Sunday, March 29, 2015

The future of "Top Gear"

And so Jeremy Clarkson's contract wasn't renewed by the BBC who was put into a very bad situation when Clarkson yelled at producer Oison Tymon for 20 minutes and smacked him around for another five.  I discussed this with a non-Top-Gear watcher at work.  If someone yells at you for five seconds, it's pretty bad; five minutes, it's an eternity; 20 minutes is the length of an episode of "Thirty Rock" without commercials and the abuse.  Toss on the length of the "Queen of Jordan" episode followed by slapping and it's what-the-fuckery at its weirdest. 

Clarkson did it to himself and he knew it as he was the one who called his BBC bosses right after and admitted it.  They were already pissed at him for various reasons -- the N-word controversy, the Argentina special with the Falkland-Islands-War-homage license plate, using a derogatory word in the Burma special  -- so he was the rump roast who stuck himself with the fork and pronounced himself done.  Who might replace him?

This reminds me of Jay Cutler of the Bears.  Jay is a very less-than-average QB.  He is not an elite quarterback like Russell Wilson, Drew Brees, Aaron Rodgers, the Manning brothers.   He might be better than average with the right coach but he will never be great.

I was at a party last summer and talked to my co-worker's partner about it.  I said we needed to get rid of Jay and this man said, "Yeah, we can do that, but who can replace him?  There is no one available.  There are kids coming out of college but they're not ready for the NFL.  None of the really good quarterbacks have contracts that are up.  We're stuck with him and they have to make it work."
The whole Jeremy Clarkson incident/debacle/idiocy/what-the-fuckery reminds me of the Bears and Jay.  How they are they going to replace Clarkson?

For me, they can't.  Maybe Clarkson, May, and Hammond can start another wonderful, exciting show about cars that gearheads and others (like me) will watch.  I can't see sticking in someone else instead of Clarkson because, much like with QB Jay Cutler, there really is no one else.  (To be honest, Jay can be replaced, there's just no one to replace him; Jeremy Clarkson cannot be replaced on "Top Gear.")  If someone else comes in there, it won't be "Top Gear" any longer.  It will be "BBC Presents BBC's Top Gear brought to you by BBC and BBC Americas" and it will be not just different, it will be weird and out of sorts, kind of like Jeremy Clarkson himself when he freaked about not getting a hot meal and ripped Oison Tymon a new one for twenty minutes and then smacked him around for another five.  (Note to Jeremy:  Always have a hot meal provision in your contract.)

Yeah, I know I said I was going to put "Top Gear" behind me but it's "Top Gear" and I honest to goodness love "Top Gear."

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