Sunday, August 2, 2015


Exciting!  Inviting!  But not for me...
Lollapalooza is the summer blockbuster of summer blockbuster music festivals in a city where you can't swing a bag of festering garbage without hitting a music festival.  Riotfest!  Pitchfork!  Some other fests that just don't come to mind!  They are three-day music festivals like Lollapalooza but they just are not Lolla.  Yeah, we call it Lolla because no one has time for saying it every single time.

Look at the Lolla acts closing each night this year.  Sir Paul McCartney -- in case you've been dead for 50 years, he was in an ineffectual band called The Beatles, a group that did nothing except change Rock and Roll (and there are those who say almost ruined it but that's a different discussion); Metallica -- one of the greatest heavy metal bands of all time; Florence and the Machine -- this year's biggest of the new stars. 

I work in the multipurpose building that is called the Olgilvie Transportation Center.  It's multipurpose because there are offices, restaurants, shops, and a big ass train station.  I went downstairs at 11 and the lobby was filled with loud, young Lolla attendees, just arrived on some suburban train or other.  They dressed alike, pretty much looked alike (i.e. young), and were all beautiful, even the unattractive ones.  Excitement rippled through the air because they're young and haven't learned to curb their enthusiasm down many decibels.  (My friend, Michael, goes to Lolla every year but he is not demonstrably enthusiastic.  He's just very happy to be going but he is an adult.)  After lunch, I didn't give it much thought.

After work, I walked from my office in the Olgivie Transportation Center to the Brown Line with a coworker.  She got on the El and I continued down to Michigan Avenue and then thought, oh, what the hell, maybe I can score some free swag, and walked down to Lollapalooza.

When I got to Lollapalooza, they would not let me in.  CAN YOU IMAGINE!?  I AM AN ADULT!  I AM MOSTLY WELL BEHAVED!  I AM AN ADULT!  AM I TOO OLD?  TOO UNATTRACTIVE?  "You don't have a ticket," they said. 

Oh.  That.

I sent a text to Michael about not being let in and he replied, "BITCHIZZZZ!"

All the swag people had closed up at 5pm so the only swag I scored was a box of water.  It was 90º and the water (in a carton) was nice and wet.  My ultimate reward:  I walked over 2 miles and found my favorite place to buy a lottery ticket was still open.  I haven't checked my numbers yet but I am pretty sure that I won't be quitting my job this week to follow the Sir Paul Tour.

No comments:

Post a Comment