Sunday, August 9, 2015

Not as good as he thinks he looks

Yesterday I went downtown to take a tap class.  I left at the usual time but didn't count on the addition of tourists being on the train, not acting right, standing in everyone's way and they were not the worst thing about the train ride.  There was this one guy...

Everyone knows someone like this one guy.  He has decided that he is going to have a beautiful body.  He is going to go to the gym every day.  No matter where he is or what he's doing, he will get to the gym.  He is focused.  He is determined.  He is one of the most ignorant and selfish people around.

He has to be able to have a drink -- something like Monster or Red Bull -- and he has to have it as he rides the train.  He has to have his phone in his hand in case someone tries to contact him.  It might be important and he believes he's an important guy.  He wears the briefest of sleeveless t-shirts to show off his body.  He stands in such a way as to pose and also cut off the space of at least two other people trying to stand on the train.

But then there is the closer inspection.  His nails are super raggedy.  It looks like he might bite them but like he also doesn't scrub them to get them really clean, like maybe he had his hands in dirt or something worse and he didn't care enough to make them tidy.  The train jostles; he shifts.  He hasn't taken a shower and his B.O. is extreme, like he's spent eight hours doing something energetic (probably with strangers) and doesn't respect those he travels with enough to give himself a perfunctory rinse.

Yeah, I fought my way to the center of the car to get away from him.  There was actual room in the center and everyone there seemed to have considerately had a shower before climbing on board.

My advice to the handsome, the perfect, the gym wise and stench foolish:  You are the one(s) we laugh at when we see you.  You are focusing on an external that is anything but perfect.  Scrub your hands!  Give yourself a rinse before you go to the gym and then have better shower after!  And work on that personality because we all know it's just like poo.

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